Dealing With It

Theme: #10
Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me. This is a purely fictional story based on the characters and story created by Tite Kubo, to whom they do belong.

A/N: So, another update. ^.^ It's short, but it doesn't need to be longer than it is. Anything more would have ruined it.I have to tell you now, it has infant death.

If you cannot handle infants dying, do not read this chapter.</i>

I do not want to have reviews chastising me for such a topic because I have given you fair warning. If you cannot handle it, do not read it.

~*~

The number ten held many memories for her, the largest being his position in the Gotei 13. That was the first memory she had of him. It was the number that connected her with him. Ten years today he had asked her to marry him on the blustery rainy day, eyes shining with determination and anxiousness. Ten years ago, she found out she was pregnant. It was also ten years ago they lost their child mere hours after she was born. Every year, on this day, she made her way up to the hill to where they had laid their daughter to rest, overlooking her parents’ Squad where she would have grown up. When people asked how she went on like nothing had happened, she had no words for them. No words could possibly explain the agony she felt at losing her first child so quickly. Whenever she saw a child that would be the same age as their daughter, she had to turn away because the jerking pain would be too much to handle. There was no way could she describe the rift that had grown between herself and her lover during the first few months, nor how many loud arguments they had engaged in. They were practically like strangers to one another, both living separate lives. It was a tense time; one Karin did not like remembering. While Toushirou kept it all inside and got on with his work, Karin withdrew from everyone and hid herself away. She didn’t go out, didn’t go into the office, refused all visitors and just stayed in the house.

Then one day, it clicked to her that she didn’t have to suffer alone, that Toushirou was also feeling the loss of their daughter. Like the blindfold had been taken off, she could finally see how badly affected he was. It was the turning point for them, the night Karin came into the office and asked him to come home. Once they were home, they hugged each other tightly as they grieved together. Now, ten years on, they were closer than ever. The pain of the loss was still there, but they knew they had each other.

Stepping up to the grave, Karin sank to her knees. Reaching out to stroke the stone, she felt the tears start to well up. “Hello my darling... Daddy will be up soon, he’s just getting your little sister from Uncle Ichigo. You’d be ten today... Happy birthday, sweet heart. I brought you flowers... the ones you had when you were born. I’m not sure if you would like them, but they’re from Aunt Rukia’s garden.” She looked down, sniffling slightly before looking back up. “I still miss you. I remember how you felt in my arms... like they were made for you. Your sister was the same, and it hurt to hold her the first time because she reminded me so much of you. But she isn’t you. You will always be her older sister. She loves you so much, even though she will never meet you.”

“Mummy!”

Karin turned, seeing a bouncing mop of white hair heading straight for her. Toushirou followed at a more sedate pace, sadness mingling with amusement. Their youngest daughter launched herself into Karin’s arms, her hair sticking to the wetness on her cheeks. Hugging her, she turned to face the stone again.

“Hi, big sis! Do you get lonely up here? You shouldn’t, you know, because you can still see us!” she babbled to the stone, avidly watching the birds fly around.

Karin felt a hand rest on the back of her head and knew Toushirou was there with her. Resting her head on his thigh, she closed her eyes and listened to their youngest child babble away to her older sister.